With Kate Pinsonneault
I remember Brene Brown saying, “The most boundaried people are the most respected people.” I paused to think about that. Many people negate their own needs while trying hard to be there for others. Often they impulsively say “yes” to others, work harder and longer to do what needs to be done, and make other people’s needs their priority. While we may believe these are admirable qualities, the reality is that these people are often taken for granted and, over time, can become depleted and/or resentful.
When I think of boundaried people, what comes to mind is people who are aware of their own needs and priorities. They have the ability to pause, self-reflect and consider if this is something they want to do, have time for, etc. Rather than being there for others, they are mindful of their own needs and limitations and they can respond openly and honestly. Boundaried people, know how to say, “Let me think about that, and I’ll get back to you” or “I would love to help you but I just don’t have the time or energy today.” They don’t defend their decisions or feel the need to explain themselves. Acting in our own best interests is an act of self-respect.