With Kate Pinsonneault
The holidays are often thought of as a time when families come together to celebrate the season. But for many, the holidays can be a time of stress, grief, overwhelm, or disconnection. Your feelings are valid and are shared by many. This can be a time when many people struggle.
Sharing your feelings with friends, family, or a counsellor can be a comforting way to help you explore what you need. Sometimes, just knowing that someone else understands can make a big difference.
Taking care of your needs through the holiday season can be a challenge as we’re often so busy doing all the things required of us. It can be helpful to pause to ask yourself, “How am I feeling?” and “What do I need?” Honouring your feelings, listening to your internal wisdom, and acting on your needs Is important. It helps prioritize you at a time when it’s easy to get lost in the expectations of the season.
Sometimes it can help to simplify your celebrations and focus on what truly matters to you. If you find yourself overwhelmed by the demands of the season, it’s okay to scale back your commitments. A colleague shared that he is going to spend the holidays with some old friends and forgo his family’s big Italian Christmas celebration. This is the first time in his 52 years that he will miss a family Christmas. He knows others will be disappointed and he knows he will miss seeing everyone, but he also knows that having some down time and relaxation after a busy year of many ups and downs, is what he needs this year. A friend, who recently lost her husband, felt overwhelmed at the idea of travelling to be with her extended family, including her daughter’s in-laws, for the holidays. Instead, she invited her children for a small intimate Christmas get-together to help her with the grieving process. A client, who is a single parent, felt abandoned when his children let him know that they had other commitments this Christmas. He has decided to participate in a community dinner. Even though he feels a bit shy and awkward, he knows he doesn’t want to be alone on Christmas day.
Connecting with others who understand what you’re going through can make a big difference.
Remember that your feelings are valid and your needs are important. Acting on what you need isn’t being selfish; it’s an act of self-respect and care. Taking care of yourself is a gift you give yourself and to those who care about you. Don’t hesitate to reach out and let others in your circle know how they can support you. It is often in those moments of compassion and connection that our hearts smile.
However you celebrate the holiday season, I wish you these small moments of joy.