For Clients
IFS Exercise: For Polarization
April 22 2024 by Kate Pinsonneault
Have you ever planned to do something and then found a part of you was holding you back? That’s what we call a polarization in IFS. There’s a part of you that sees the value in doing something but another part that just doesn’t want to for some reason. If that should happen, try listening to both parts without taking sides. Here are some questions to ask them, “Tell me why you would like me to do….” “What are you afraid would happen if we didn’t do that?” Let it know you understand. Then ask, “Do you know the other part exists and has a different agenda?” “Would you be open to hearing what it has to say?
Ask the other part the same two questions about its purpose and its fears. Again, let it know that you get it. Now introduce the two parts and ask if they can come to an agreement. Help them to understand each others’ concerns and what they want for you. Let them know that you value what both do for you, but that you need them to find a balanced, workable compromise. When you are ok with what they came up with, thank them for their willingness to work together to support you.
Remember that all of your parts have good intentions, and when they are understood and appreciated, you will have a more positive relationship with them. Kate
Art Therapy Activity: Animal Superpowers
Here’s a fun art therapy activity you can try. You’ll need some paper and whatever you like to draw with; felts, crayons, pastels, coloured pencils, etc. Here we go…
- Draw a picture of your favourite animal (no one else will see it 🙂
- As you draw it, consider its day-to-day life, its joys, its strengths and its hardships and challenges.
- When you are finished and have thought about its life, you are going to give your animal a superpower.
- Draw a second picture with the animal using its superpower.
- Consider how its life will be different now, how it might be better, safer, easier. Can it have its needs met in a way it couldn’t before?
- Now take a moment to consider your own life as you were growing up. Can your younger self relate to your animal? What are the things you did to make your life safer or to try to meet your needs? Any parallels to the animal in your drawings?
- Take a moment to reflect on any insights you might have gotten from this activity.
When I did this activity the first time, I drew an elephant and its superpower was to become very small. Now food was not a problem as it could fill up on a single blade of grass and it would be invisible to hunters. When I considered myself as a child, I realized I was always trying to make myself small, not need much, and hide from those who hurt me. It helped me to realize that in my 30’s I was still trying to be small and unnoticed. This activity really helped me see that. I hope it helps you too. Warmly, Kate