With Kate
We live in a culture where productivity and achievement are expected. Accomplishments are acknowledged, exhaustion is normalized, and “pushing through” is praised. We tell ourselves to keep going to do what’s required of us. We may believe that this is what it takes to succeed or to be accepted. But constantly trying to do more, do better, or accept stressful conditions is not sustainable. When we experience stress, we tend to keep pushing ourselves until we get through it. But if stressful situations are ongoing and stress continues or builds over time, we become depleted.
Burnout is often more disruptive than many people realize. When individuals live with chronic inescapable stress, their nervous system cannot rest and relax. This state of calm is essential for the body to repair, for the brain to process information, and it allows us to have the restorative sleep we need. Burnout is our body’s survival system taking over. It shifts us into a state of shutdown, forcing us to stop and giving us time to recuperate. Our body is trying to get us back to a state of homeostasis.
But rather than acknowledge that we have pushed ourselves to the point of depletion, we often wonder, “What is wrong with me that I can’t keep going?” Or sometimes others mistake burnout for laziness, weakness, or failure. It’s none of those things. It’s a deeper issue. It is your body letting you know that your current situation has depleted your resources to the point where it can no longer function.
Burnout develops gradually. At first, you might notice increased fatigue or irritability. Over time, motivation fades, joy disappears, and even small tasks feel like another demand. Other symptoms often include emotional numbness, struggling to focus, avoidance, digestive issues, headaches, or feeling exhausted, no matter how much you sleep.
Burnout is the result of accumulated stress over time without enough time to recover, and it is usually driven by several contributing factors. These may include:
- Chronic overwork
- Too high or unreasonable expectations
- Poor boundaries, or your boundaries are not respected
- Perfectionism
- Lack of control or autonomy
- Feeling undervalued, unsupported or that you are treated unfairly
- A mismatch between your personal values and work demands
- Over-thinking, constant worry, or anxiety
- Not prioritizing your own needs
Burnout affects more than productivity. It can impact relationships, physical health, confidence, creativity, or emotional resilience. Many people describe burnout as a loss of identity, or of who they have been striving to be: “I feel like I’ve lost myself.”
One of the hardest truths about burnout is that you cannot “self-improve” your way out of it, feel better by adding self-care to your already full list of things to do, or by trying harder. Recovery requires doing less and focusing on your needs without feeling guilty, selfish, or as if something is wrong with you. You just need time for your body, mind and emotions to relax and recuperate. It might also mean that recovering from burnout requires that you take time to rest – not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. Your nervous system needs time to relax and recuperate from the harm caused by toxic stress hormones. It is only then that your body can begin to repair and function optimally.
Preventing burnout is about sustainable, balanced living. Reassessing priorities, saying no to things that cause you stress, asking for support when you need it, reconnecting with what matters to you, and doing things that make you smile can all help. Prevention may also lead to disconnecting from those who cause you stress and reconnecting with those who help you feel supported, connected, and cared for.
Here are some things you can ask yourself that might help:
- What/who drains me?
- What/who energizes me?
- Am I aware of my own needs
- Do I respect my limitations of time, energy, motivation, etc?
- What am I tolerating that is costing me emotionally, financially, physically…?
- What would “enough” look like?
Burnout is a sign that demands have exceeded your resources for too long without sufficient time to recuperate. Research over the last few decades has shown us the harm that occurs when we live in chronic stress. All animals can effectively handle short bursts of stress and then return to their natural state. Without opportunities to relax and return to homeostasis, ongoing stress will take its toll until our body shuts down.
If you’re feeling burned out, your body and mind are asking for something important: pause, care, and change. Listening to that message is important. It is not giving up, it is not weakness or failure. It’s the beginning of recovery. It may be what is needed to help you lead a more aware, authentic and balanced life based on self-respect and self-care.
