With Suzanna
“We aren’t doomed to lives of Sisyphean servitude.”
I just read an excellent article by Scott Koenig called “We’re Killing Ourselves with
Work.”
In it, he explores why we and other species push ourselves so hard. He discusses the
evolutionary advantages of such behaviour, and talks about species of birds that go to
great lengths to construct elaborate nests and bowers that 1) don’t seem to put them at
any sort of competitive advantage, and 2) they disassemble almost immediately
thereafter. He notes that birds often expend their abundant energy engaged in tasks
that reduce their lifespans, rather than lengthen them.
What? That makes no sense!!
Well, guess what? We do it too.
Why do we do that??
Well, that’s the question, isn’t it? Why do we do that? Why do I do that? Why
might YOU do that?
There’s the meaningful work that we do, which helps us survive and thrive. I have no
problem with this kind of work. It is essential. It is what fills us up body, mind and soul
and gives us purpose and brings us joy, connection and puts food on our table.
And then there are all of the things that we do for other reasons… reasons that might
have something to do with feeling unsafe…
…with feeling unlovable…
…with feeling unworthy…
…with feeling undeserving…
Even birds coast when they can…
There is no right or wrong way to be, no right or wrong way to live life…
If you’re DOING and SEEING and GOING and loving every minute of it, wonderful. This
mental meandering may not be for you. But if all of the busyness has you feeling
mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted, perhaps it is time for a life audit… to
take a moment to look at your values and to see if you are in alignment with them… to
find your why and to start living your life in accordance with it… to see what you can
clear out to make space for… well, space! Space and time to pause and smell the roses,
or whatever it is that lights you up.
“But I have to do all of this! I have no choice!” some of my clients say to me.
To this, I offer acknowledgement and validation… Because if it FEELS like this is true,
then this is where we need to begin.
I might start a round of EFT tapping and respond by saying something like,
Even though I am feeling burned out with too much to do, I offer myself compassion
right here right now. Even though, I am maxed out and need a break I can’t take, I am open to being gentle with myself as I explore this.
And even though I’m positive there are no options… there is no wiggle room… there are
no balls I can safely drop…and it is so hard… I am open to contemplating… maybe…
possibly… that some small change might be possible…because I can’t keep going like
this.
Maybe you don’t have to keep going like this. Maybe it doesn’t have to be so hard.
To add my own spin on author Adrienne Maree Brown’s quote, “What is easy is
sustainable. Even those crazy nest-building birds coast when they can.”
