Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an evidence-based treatment that recognizes that we all have parts of us that will have their own agendas. Many of us naturally describe our different parts. For example, a person might say, “A part of me is so angry at him, but another part is starting to understand where he is coming from,” or, “A part of me feels so guilty for not studying right now, but another part of me knows I could use the rest.”
We all have many parts, and while they all have our best interests in mind, our parts can also be at odds with each other. These internal struggles can create internal discomfort and confusion. Additionally, if these parts get triggered by past experiences, parts can overreact. A part that wants you to feel better might get you to go shopping for things you can’t really afford or don’t really need or another part might get you to eat 8 cookies. When the part has a protective role, it can become activated to act. So if you meet someone who reminds you of a childhood bully, a part may get angry and defensive or you might have a part that wants you to disappear or avoid that person.
When these parts take over we are sometimes left with regret or confusion. “I don’t know why I did that”. I can’t believe I said that.” “I didn’t mean to…” are common expressions we have after a part has taken over. Others might notice too, “That was so unlike him.”
IFS helps us to get to know these parts and why they feel the need to do what they do. It is the curious and compassionate exploration of the parts that leads to an understanding of why they react impulsively or act counter to our own best interests. By getting to the fears that drive their behaviours, and healing the parts that are wounded by past hurts, these parts can be freed of their roles. When that happens, we experience more control, clarity, joy, and confidence.
IFS can help with: people pleasing, guilt/shame, past traumas, addictions, anxiety, depression, disordered eating, attachment wounds and relationship challenges.