Beyond Productivity
With Haley Shepard
In the early months of new parenthood, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind. The laundry piles up, meals are less planned, emails go unanswered, and somewhere in there, you may notice the voice inside comparing your life to how “productive” you once were. Many new parents carry this pressure quietly, believing that success means getting back to their old routines or proving they can “do it all”. Yet in the postpartum season, success cannot be measured in checklists or spotless kitchens. Instead, it’s a season of learning, healing, growing, and adjusting to the profound change.
Self-compassion invites us to soften these expectations and honour the reality that this stage is physically, emotionally, and mentally demanding. Productivity can be redefined in ways that truly reflect what matters most: feeding your baby, resting when your body needs it, asking for and accepting help, or simply making space to breathe. These moments of care may not look like traditional accomplishments, but they are powerful acts of resilience and love. From a counselling perspective, shifting the focus from constant efficiency to small, meaningful wins can help release guilt and foster steadier emotional well-being.
One gentle reframe is to ask, “How did I care for myself and my baby today?” instead of “What did I get done today?” This simple shift opens space for gratitude in the little things, like a cuddle, a laugh, or a warm cup of tea between feeds. It reminds us that nurturing yourself alongside your child is essential. Over time, these small moments build connection, stability, and confidence in your new role. Something you might try this week: at the end of each day, write down or simply name one way you showed up for yourself, your little one, or your family, with care. Keeping a gentle record of these moments can serve as a helpful reminder, especially when self-criticism starts to creep in. You are doing important, loving work in ways that truly count, even if they don’t fit the traditional definition of “productive”.
