Couples Therapy

Couples counselling has evolved rapidly over the two decade. Thanks to the influence of neuroscience in the field of relational therapy, our understanding of relationships and the problems that play out has deepened and expanded.  New therapeutic approaches have been developed to focus on our emotional reactions as defence responses, which can become problematic for couples if they don’t understand what is happening and why.   

Effective approaches in couples therapy go beyond focusing on improving communication or trying to better meeting each other’s needs. Rather than focusing on changing behaviours, it can benefit couples to looking deeper at what causes us to react, get defensive, feel hurt, or go into a fight/flight response with someone we love.  

Couples counselling can help you understand these dynamics that play out between you.  With the right approach, the therapist will gently and compassionately help reveal these old wounds that are driving out behaviours.  Not only will you and your partner be able to understand how deep that hurt goes, and that these reactions are protective, but a skilled couples counsellor will also be able to help you heal those old wounds.  

Approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or Intimacy From the iInside Out (IFIO) can help recognize defensive patterns and help heal those old emotional injuries to change how you feel.  Instead of the old pattern of feeling hurt, defensive, withdrawn, angry… you’ll be able to be present and open to your partner with the ability to recognize that it is not about you, but is an old hurt that you can now attend to with love and understanding.